Estate Agents

I never quite understood the almost universal hatred of estate agents until today, never having really come into contact with them before. It's not the people as such, just the entire searching-for-suitable-property experience ("suitable" being the operative word here).

Brief backstory: we decided this week to move from our (hugely expensive, freezing inWinter, boiling in Summer plus sky-high bills and a temperamental boiler) rented house and find somewhere a bit nearer to Mathilda's nursery in Norden.

Being me, I felt obliged to scour Rightmove for anything that looked promising and put it on a spreadsheet, with details of the area, bedrooms, price and estate agent, with a contact number. I sent it to Gary, who sent me back the revised list, which I printed off and started to work through.

Problem #1: They have later and much-reduced opening hours on Saturdays. Normally I would be fine with that, but in a Liz Jones-kind of way, when I want something I expect everyone to be in and working and ready to help me, none of this pesky office-hours business.

Problem #2: Would it really be so difficult to include a little more information in the online property searches? Just basic stuff like "No smoking" or "No dogs" etc. I'm sure this kind of thing is already asked of prospective landlords in the long, tedious forms they are probably asked to fill in for the privilege of having an estate agency take a cut of their rent. But no. Instead, I have to ring around, asking about each individual property, only to be told "I'll have to find out and get back to you - probably on Monday."

Problem #3: We really liked a property in Bacup, so I phoned up and left a message, and then phoned back when they didn't return my call, had the whole conversation about pets and was (eventually) told that small children would be fine, but one very lazy cat would require an additional bond, as they had recently redecorated. Seriously?? Even if Fergus scratched the walls at full capacity (probably once a day on his scratching post, if he can be bothered!) there is no way he could even begin to wreak the havoc potentially caused by two inventive toddlers. But okay. Maybe this landlord has had a bad experience with a particularly destructive cat - who knows? But there is no way we are going to be paying "at least £1000 bond plus the first month's rent" just because we have a cat. Thanks but no thanks. Another two properties gave us a straight "no".

Problem #4: I went to view a 3-bed property in Norden today. I took Mathilda with me, just to ease her into the idea that moving house could be something new and fun. I really liked the house; there were a few minor issues, but overall it had lots of potential. However, two notes: one, the house was not "well presented" - the carpets were a bit tatty and the laminate flooring in the kitchen had gaps in it. Overall, if it hadn't been located where it was, I might have thought it had been empty for quite some time. That doesn't really bother me - we have small kids and to be honest it would be nice not to have heart failure every time one of them picks up a crayon. The big one was note two - if you can't fit a bed in it, it isn't a bedroom. If, by some miracle, you managed to squeeze a bed into "bedroom 3", you would not be able to put anything else in it. This is blatant mis-selling and it irritates the life out of me. Do people really think you won't notice that you can't stand in the room AND shut the door at the same time?

I am now waiting to hear back about another property in Norden. We did a brief drive-by and it's in a little cul-de-sac in a quiet area, close to the village and Mathilda's nursery. Apparently the current tenant has a cat but the landlord is anxious about it. The estate agent said he might consider a pet depending on the "calibre of the tenant", so I guess we are going to have to present ourselves well and hope for the best. I've only been looking for a couple of days and I'm already bored and disillusioned.